The S. A. F. E Method
The Soft Way to Share the Hard Truth
The Soft Way to Share the Hard Truth
Giving feedback and asking for what we need is HARD. Providing it in such a way so it lands well, keeps the relationship alive and leads to actual progress is even harder.
Having the right tool and skill makes it much easier, and practicing with that tool even more so.
S.A.F.E. is such a tool - a framework to frame your feedback and ask in a non-confrontational, practical way to invite your partner to work on the issue together. How does it work? The key is to break the message into four distinct parts:
1) SEE
What do you see or hear?
Describe the facts of the situation without judgment or interpretation.
2) Analyze
How do you analyze?
Share the way you interpret or understand the situation.
“I understand that it probably conflicts with other demands on your time.”
3) Feel
How does it make you feel?
Name and explain your emotion.
“That makes me feel frustrated as we are there waiting for you.”
4) Express
Express your need.
Request your need, and potentially suggest a solution.
“I need to feel that my time is valued. Should we find a time that works better for everyone?”
Bring the S. A. F. E Method to Your Team
We can help your team communicate better via our structured, interactive workshop. Either in person or virtually, we explore different communication styles, discuss cultural differences, and train your team in the S.A.F.E. method. We leave them with tools to practice better communication amongst themselves and their own.
Resources
S.A.F.E. Poster
Keep a visual reference in the office handy.
Feedback Worksheet
Carry the method with you. This pocket-sized card lays out the four steps. Print, cut, and keep it handy for quick reference.
Listen to this
In this debut episode of Cardcast, Ged Roberts and I explore the card “The Sandwich Is Dead”, a critique of the well-worn “Feedback Sandwich” (the Sh*t Sandwich) approach.
There's More...
The “sh*t sandwich” softens hard truths, but the bitterness always lingers. Discover why it fails, and how the S.A.F.E. Method offers a better way.